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This Week’s Hot Topic
Did everyone watch Rachael Ray Thursday morning?! I have to say that I’m very pleased that they edited out a few of my more stupid comments but I probably would have preferred that they also not include me falling off the stage. It’s pretty weird seeing yourself on television (especially HD!) but overall I think it went pretty well. Please don’t tell me if you disagree. For those of you who missed it, I will do my best to get a tape and put the footage up on my website, so just hang on! As for the rest of what I wanted to talk about this week, I’m going to continue with last week’s sad tale of Zoe’s woefully bad attitude.
Of course, she’s not angry all the time. In the morning, she’s delightful and sweet. And some evenings aren’t all that bad. But then there are those nights when she seems to be completely possessed. I didn’t know a baby could cry that loud or turn that purple. Anyway, I know you’ve got the point. I won’t beat a dead horse and I certainly am not complaining. Instead, I thought I would pass along some of the things we’ve done at our house to make a screaming infant slightly less irritating. We’ve received lots of suggestions, ranging from chamomile tea to special blankets to earplugs. I really shy away from giving my kids medications or other ingestables that I don’t think will be helpful so we’ve not gone down that road. I’m also scared to use many scents or oils on them because their skin is so delicate and I had such bad eczema as a baby. However, a really great suggestion was to switch Zoe’s bath time to the evening since water seems to really calm her down. So now, as soon as the witches sneak through the front door and send her screaming (anytime from 4 to 6pm), into the tub she goes. I’ve left her in there for as long as 20 minutes although I coated her little body in Aquaphor as soon as she came out so I wouldn’t dry her poor little skin up. Some nights the bath just calms her temporarily but other nights it seems to really help her find her center and stay happy.
**Word of advice: babies have a very strong gastrocolic reflex. This is the need to poop immediately after eating. If you have a baby who is so fussy she can barely eat and you try to feed her while she’s sitting calmly in the tub, she may poop. Then when you clean it out and refill the tub and put her back, she might poop a second time. Just a thought.**
Since Zoe likes water so much, we also found that just running the tap while she’s lying on a blanket on the counter next to the sink will often quiet her down as well. Of course I’m always standing right next to her so she doesn’t plunge to the floor. And yes, I do feel guilty about wasting water, but I try to keep it on as slow a trickle as will do the trick and soak the dishes at the same time. One more thing is a different room. Just walking into another space with different lighting and a slightly different temperature seems will occasionally work although the effect is often fleeting. Naturally, all these tricks I’m am doing in addition to swaddling, binky, loud ssshhhing in the ear, swinging and jiggling.
Finally, when all else fails, get another person involved if at all possible. I know not everyone has a neighbor, Grandma or babysitter experienced in colicky infants at their disposal, but if you can rope someone into helping you, go for it and don’t feel guilty for a second! I once flew to Boston to give my friend a hand with her colicky baby for the weekend and it seemed to help all of them turn the corner. Often a third party will be calmer themselves and less frustrated and they may find it easier to calm a screaming infant than a tired and stressed parent can. I had someone come in the other evening to give us time to eat dinner and when the sitter arrived, my husband and I ran to our bedroom, closed the door and sat on the floor laughing. (House rule is Zoe gets the living room. If you want the TV, you take the baby) We were able to get a meal into our mouths, using both our hands, (I cut my own meat!!) and have a half hour to regroup and refresh. Crying babies can suck the life out of you so if you are unfortunate enough to have a fussy little one, don’t think twice about taking time to make sure you can hear your own thoughts. If you can’t find anyone to help you and you feel as if you are really at the end of your rope, leave the baby in the other room and go hide in the bathroom for 5 minutes. She won’t die from crying and as long as you can hear her, you know she’s breathing! And remember that it won’t last forever. I promise. I know this week is a particularly long-winded message but if you have a fussy baby or know someone who does, I really want you to know that you aren’t alone and it will be okay.
Tales of The Truly Advanced Infant
My brother-in-law was watching my 10 month-old niece the other day and handed her his cell phone to keep her entertained while he did the dishes. The house phone rang and the caller ID said it was his cell. He answered and was greeting by his screaming daughter who had apparently speed dialed the house and was letting her father know that she was none too happy about playing alone on the floor in the other room.
Dr. Lara Zibners, Mar 11, 2010
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Ooh this is a good one since Eva seems to spend most of her day with her arms pinned to her sides. She’s so high-strung that sometimes the only way to get her to calm down is a quick, tight swaddle. I’m not looking forward to the day coming very soon when I can’t let her sleep that way though. Once a baby is able to roll over, it’s time for the swaddle to go bye-bye. You can use a blanket sleeper, but the arms need to be free so that she can push her face away from the mattress and side of the crib. If she rolls while swaddled, she may not be able to free her nose and mouth. Of course, as long as you are holding her, she can stay wrapped tightly until she is through adolescence! If she remains the drama queen that she is, I envision many evenings wrapping a beach towel around my 15 year-old and telling her to get ahold of herself.
Dr. Lara Zibners, Mar 11, 2010
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This Week’s Hot Topic
It’s finally warming up and the snow is almost gone! It should make me feel like skipping and singing. Which I do from morning until about 5pm. And at 5:01 the singing stops and the tears start. Mostly from Zoe, some from Eva and a few from me. Because my kid has colic and that sucks. Big time.
I know you’ve all heard of colic but just so we are on the same page, “colic” in babies is unexplained crying for several hours a day, usually worse in the evening. Not to be confused with “colic” in horses which is a stomach ailment and is the number one natural killer of our equestrian friends. A lot of people think that colic in infants is also the result of a belly ache but most pediatricians disagree. Colic is probably best described as an immature brain freaking out. The evidence for this is that colicky babies respond to actions that imitate the conditions of the womb, such as rhythmic movement, tight swaddling and loud constant noise. What’s more, colic tends to go away around the same time (3-4 months) that a baby starts to hold its head up and be more social and act more like a real person and not a tiny baby.
I’ve been explaining colic to parents for years and trying to give them both sympathy and support and also real techniques to use to stop the crying. And now I’m living with it. Oh boy. Zoe will stop crying when I do all “the moves:” tight swaddle, binki, loud “sssshhhhhhing,” walking, jiggling and holding her on her side or belly. Okay so that is fine but what about when I need to put her down? Sometimes the baby swing turned all the way up will buy me 15 minutes. That is just enough time to get Eva her evening bath and into her crib. Then she starts her one hour of intermittent fussing and yelling while she fights sleep. So I run from one end of the apartment to the other, ssshhhing this kid, patting that one. It’s both frustrating and exhausting.
I have a new, deeper, respect for families with a fussy infant. What gets me through is a couple of things. Firstly, I know that this is temporary and it’s not because of anything I’ve done or not done. Secondly, I take help wherever I can get it. I try very hard to have a 2nd pair of hands at my house in the evening. I make sure that everyone has watched the Happiest Baby on The Block video and that they all understand that if they start to feel angry or frustrated, they need to put Zoe down and walk away. The only way colic is going to hurt a baby is if she is shaken or otherwise roughly handled out of frustration. Our new motto is: no one ever died from crying.
By the way, set your TIVO for March 11, Rachael Ray (should be on your local ABC affiliate). Yours truly will be making her daytime major network debut.
Dr. Lara Zibners, Mar 04, 2010
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This is just one of the many suggestions I’ve received in the last couple weeks to deal with my screaming bundle of joy. Chamomile tea has been used for centuries to soothe tummies and calm babies. Of course, I’ve just convinced you that colic probably has nothing to do with a sore tummy so there isn’t any great reason to think tea should work. Then again, aside from the risk of an allergic reaction or inadvertent lead or chemical poisoning from tea acquired from a less-than-reputable source, it probably won’t hurt if given in small (a teaspoon) doses. There actually are a couple studies suggesting that it might calm a cranky baby but the scientific jury is still out on this one. If you really want to try it, please check with your pediatrician first to make sure you aren’t causing any harm. As for us, however, we are going to stick with good old fashioned earplugs and a tincture of time.
Dr. Lara Zibners, Mar 04, 2010
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This Week’s Hot Topic:
It’s snowing and raining and disgusting out in New York City today. I was going to take Eva for her passport photos but I think I’ve already tested and defined the boundaries of my maternal stupidity. My husband is “stuck” at a business meeting on a warm and sunny island and I’m sitting here in the snow, desperate for some sunshine and craving a good old fashioned barbeque. With hotdogs and hamburgers. Wait! Did I say hotdogs? Has anyone seen the news this week? The old-fashioned American hotdog is under attack!
The American Academy of Pediatrics issued a policy statement this week on choking prevention, which includes a recommendation for the government to oversee food choking hazards. After all, they regulate non-food choking hazards such as toys and games, so why not food? The AAP also issued a request to the food industry for the redesign of foods that pose an exceptionally high choking risk for children. Among the worst offenders? Hotdogs top the list, followed by hard candies, popcorn, nuts, peanut butter, and anything hard, sticky or chewy. In other words, your toddler can bite but not chew, so carrot sticks, chunks of apple or hunks of cheese are all risky items. Now I completely understand the AAP’s position from one standpoint: if we label non-food items and have a system in place to quickly identify newly-emerging hazards, why don’t we do the same for edibles? It’s a bit ridiculous that a marble comes with a big warning label on it but a gumball is marketed towards children. A few years back, it was found that a particular chewy gel candy was responsible for several choking deaths in children but it took much longer to link the cases and have the product pulled from store shelves than it would have if the offending item had been, say, a mascara wand. Wouldn’t it make more sense to label the things that people actually intend to put in their kid’s mouth?
On the other hand, where do we draw the line? There is no piece of solid food that I can think of that a little one couldn’t at least partially choke on. If we label the most offensive choking risks (such as the hotdog which is the perfect size and shape to completely plug the airway and is nearly impossible to get back out before it’s too late), are we going to make parents complacent about other food items that may not be quite as risky but can still pose a hazard? Or should we slap a sign on door of your local Safeway declaring the entire place to be a danger zone? I really don’t know the answer to this but I am going to use this forum to remind you of the most dangerous choking risks in your kitchen and beseech you to take extra care when feeding your kiddo. Hotdogs should be sliced lengthwise and into small pieces. Grapes get cut in half or quarters. Anything that can’t be mushed with a little tongue shouldn’t be bigger than mini-bite-size. Things that are sticky or gummy can clog up the throat. Don’t let kids run around when eating (which, is by the way, possibly one of the greatest choking threats!). Cookie Monster feedings and speed contests are not appropriate at the dinner table. Just use your brains.
So until the government decides whether it wants to get involved or until Oscar Mayer decides to redesign the dog (into what, exactly, I don’t know), use common sense. You wouldn’t give your kid a cold beer at a barbeque, so why give him a hotdog? Some foods are just not a good idea for a little one unless they are sliced, mushed, peeled, chopped, diced or blended. Don’t be afraid to keep kid-unfriendly food out of your child’s way. More for you that way.
Dr. Lara Zibners, Feb 25, 2010
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