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Jab! Jab! Jab!
Yep, that’s what they call immunizations over here in London. So because I try really hard to sound like a local (saying things like “put that in the bin, darling,”) that’s exactly what I asked for yesterday. As soon as we got called in to see our pediatrician (or paediatrician to be exact) I sat the girls down and announced to their doctor, “Hi, we’re here for our flu jabs!” Actually first I said hello and inquired as to his health, seeing as how I’m exceedingly polite around the man responsible for my childrens’ health. But then I demanded our jabs.
And let me tell you, he did not disappoint! Poor little Eva had come running in calling, “I first!” Little did the silly darling, ahem, I mean dopey kid realize. She looked a bit hesitant when the cold spray hit her leg but then she didn’t even cry. Or at least she didn’t have time to before I shoved an M&M in her mouth.
Then it was Zoe’s turn. She found the whole thing mildly amusing until the bandage went on. That was apparently very upsetting, having a sticky piece of tape on her body. But she got over it within seconds, M&M’s notwithstanding.
Oh, did I mention that I had mine a few weeks back and their dad got his at the office? Yes, we are a family unified by flu shots.
So, just in case you were wondering if you should make that appointment, thinking maybe this year it would be too much trouble, wishing you knew what Dr. Zibners thought of the flu shot, there you go. I believe in protecting not only my family from flu but making sure we don’t cause serious illness or even death in anyone else who might not have been well enough or old enough to get his own shot.
The CDC estimates the annual death rate from influenza to be between 3000 and 49,000 people a year in the United States. Okay, I admit that is a ridiculous range, but their best guess is made difficult since many people who die from the flu have other health problems or were never actually tested for influenza before they died. In other words, this is no joke. The flu is not a runny nose for a week. It is serious stuff.
And I am also completely serious when I say that I actually carried two bags of M&Ms with me to the pediatrician’s office, knowing full well that he usually keeps his own bag in his top desk drawer. I wasn’t taking any chances. I thought it was more than fair that they get rewarded for their mother’s stubbornness with chocolate. Twas the least I could do. That and to call it a trash can.
Now go get jabbed.
Real Life Heros
Everyone needs heros. Whether it’s Elmo’s dad (a Gulf War veteran, did you know?) or a Steve Jobs (cuz the iPad is awesome), we all need someone to look up to, to admire, to make us want to work hard to become better people. I bet right now you are wondering who my heros are. Well, I’m going to tell you, from Jonas Salk to Joseph Lister to the guy who invented the Kraft marshmallow, my list is long. I’m not terribly exclusive when it comes to building a list of people I think are fabulous. So in the interest of time, let’s focus on just one member of my list: Gerald Ford.
What? Okay, I know you are thinking it’s because he not only survived childhood but became the President of the United States with “Rudolph” for a middle name. But no. It’s not even because his real given name was Leslie. Even though these facts make me a little dizzy with respect. Nope, good old Gerry is on the list because he was the President who first declared National Adoption Week. Isn’t that fabulous?
And do you know what is even better? November is National Adoption Awareness Month! Have you guys got your decorations up, because I’ve had the kids working hard all day, drawing little crayon families, smiling babies and tearful Family Court judges and the whole shebang.
Okay, so I’m exaggerating. But I do want to draw your attention to the fact that this month is dedicated to celebrating the beauty of adoption. Many of you know that at least one of our kids is adopted and our family couldn’t be more proud of that. Nor can we contain our excitement when we hear that another set of people has become a family.
Adoption can be scary, time-consuming, and emotionally exhausting. But what you get at the end makes all that paperwork and worry seem like nothing. Of course, the one obstacle I can’t argue with is the cost. With the average cost of an adoption running into the tens of thousands of dollars, it can seem out of reach for many families that would love to get out there and find their kid.
So you can imagine my joy when I was flipping through People Magazine a few weeks back and stumbled on the Heroes Among Us column. They were featuring an organization called Help Us Adopt, a financial assistance grant organization. In other words, they help families who can’t quite make the full economic sacrifice to complete the adoption process.
And because I’m me, I called them up. Spoke with Becky Fawcett herself. I like her. I like them. I like what they do. I’ve added them to my Hero List.
And I love adoption.
So I smashed the the girls’ piggy banks and made a donation. Okay that is a lie. I picked all the pennies out of a fountain. Okay, also a lie. I actually went on PayPal and sent them a donation. But the point is, whether it’s 25 cents scraped together from under your couch cushions or the money you were planning on spending on my Christmas gift, every single donation makes a difference to the families who need help coming together.
Just go have a look and a think. www.helpusadopt.org If you know someone who would love to adopt but simply can’t afford to, share the link with them. And if you have some spare change in your pocket and want to help change the world this month, then by all means please do.
I realize I sound like I’m hosting a telethon here but I’m a passionate adoptive mother and a pediatrician who wants to see a world full of happy and healthy children. Can you blame me?
Cooperation At Its Finest
Did you know that urine, under normal circumstances, is sterile? Yes, it’s actually cleaner than tap water or your computer keyboard. I think this is important information for parents because an essential part of parenting is coming in contact with bodily fluids on a regular basis. Right? If it’s not vomit or spit up or poop in the bathtub, then it’s usually pee. Now poop is full of bacteria. And the human mouth is a dirty place. But urine, hey. While we all think it’s disgusting, truth be told, it’s far less dangerous than, say, a toddler licking your face.
Why do I feel compelled to inform you about the cleanliness of a toddler’s bladder contents? Well, it’s because last night I discovered the girls’ new trick. Yes, let me ask you, what is better than two small children who quietly entertain themselves in the living room while Mommy is upstairs showing the builders what needs to be repairing?
Can you guess?
Yes, that’s right. What’s even better is discovering that they have worked together to remove their pajamas and their diapers. And are now hiding in the kitchen giggling hysterically and yelling “Naked!”
And also realizing that my socks are soaking wet.
But I was very proud of the way they were playing so nicely together while I was busy.
Brave? Or Stupid? Episode #2483.
I’ve been quiet. Not because I don’t like you all. But because what I really want to do it go lie in a dark room for a week. Alone. With my eyes closed. I think I have earned it, actually. Just got back yesterday from 3 weeks with the girls in the US. Yes, once again, we must question the sanity of a woman who willingly locks herself into a steel tube with two toddlers for a period of around 7 hours.
In all seriousness, we had a wonderful time. Between the Grandma Rules (i.e. none) and the serious bonding with their cousins, Eva and Zoe had the time of their life. And to be truthful, I had a wonderful visit too. It’s been too long since we’ve had that much family time. But it wasn’t all recreation. No, Mommy here was busy adding to her list of “Things I didn’t know before I became a parent, 6 years of pediatric training notwithstanding.”
And I won’t be selfish. I’ll share my newfound knowledge with all of you:
Did you know that small children like juice? Yes, it’s like crack. Life is decidedly less pleasant for Eva and Zoe today now that they are back home in the land of milk and water. The look on Zoe’s face when she stole her cousin’s sippy cup was priceless.
I learned that a “sister weekend” in New York is a lot different when one of us is breastfeeding and all the children plus their Grandma want to come along.
Also, do you know what is more fun than getting on a plane with 3 adults and 4 children under the age of 3? No, not security, although that was pretty awesome. No, what’s actually unbelievably fun is getting on a plane with 4 small children, then getting off the plane while they fix a mechanical issue and finally reboarding an hour later. Good times!
And speaking of entertainment, you all know what I think of the AAP’s “absolutely no TV before the age of 2” rule. (Although technically one of them is now of age.) Eva and Zoe watch an episode of Sesame Street every morning. So far it appears that the greatest threat is that they might learn the alphabet. But just so you know, because now I do, should you be walking down the street in Times Square and see Elmo standing on a corner, he will expect a cash tip in exchange for three minutes with your toddlers who are weeping with joy and shaking with excitement. And here I thought Sesame Street was not for profit.
Finally, I would like to give a big shout out to Kid Car New York, a fantastic company that provides age and weight appropriate car seat-fitted vans for trips to and from the airport as well as around town. Complete with drivers who ensure the kiddos are buckled in appropriately and tolerate endless rounds of “Baa Baa Black Sheep.”
Anyway, I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s lessons in parenting from one very tired Dr. Mommy. Soon we’ll get back to more important topics, like the fact that I got my flu shot while in the States. And the girls get theirs next week. But for now I must go lie down.
Grandparent Days
Greetings from San Francisco! I’m at the American College of Emergency Physicians annual meeting and spent yesterday performing surgical airways on a pig trachea. I know, control yourself. Your jealousy is a tad embarrassing. Of course, this begs the question: where are Eva and Zoe while Mommy is stabbing at swine cartilage? Ah, well they are happily tucked away in Ohio. Under the watchful eye of their grandparents, aunt and uncle. Am I missing them terribly? Of course I am. No seriously. For real. I mean it. Take that back.
In all honesty, I do miss them terribly. Then again, it is sort of nice to stick “Mommy” in the hotel safe and be just “Dr. Zibners” for a couple of days. I would actually feel really guilty about having said that if it weren’t for one fact: the girls are having the time of their lives without me. I’ve seen the photos and we’ve chatted on the phone. Time of their little lives, I am telling you.
Why you ask? Wouldn’t they be having just as much fun if I was there with them, helping my parents with bathtime and covering the early morning shift? Well, the pat answer is, “no.” When Mommy is there, Grandma is looking over her shoulder, making sure I’m not watching before she slips them a binky in the middle of the day. Mommy’s sister would never think of offering them fried chicken parts for dinner if I were sitting in the room. And Grandpa, well, he’d probably just do as he pleases and tell me to shove it. That’s his style. But I’d like to think he’s a little more relaxed when I’m not around.
So there you have it. Dr. Zibners, aka Mommy, has rules. Grandma and Grandpa don’t. That’s the way it’s always worked and I’m okay with it. A little candy/juice/public pacificer usage isn’t going to ruin them when it’s only for a few days. And it is seriously just a few days. If we lived down the road, well that would be another matter. But this is vacation. And little children are surprisingly smart about who will let them get away with what. Now back to my meeting. Did you know they make simulation dolls that have seizures and you can even make their tongue swell? Yes, it’s true.
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