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Don’t Judge Me!

I talk a lot about having confidence in your decisions as a parent and about not letting others judge your approach to your child’s health and safety. But it isn’t always easy, is it? Even though I’m supposed to be an “expert,” I still get uncomfortable when I feel another mother looking at me with disdain. Okay, I know that my take on parenting is pretty relaxed and I’m aware that I probably do things that others find horrifying. A baby having a cupcake?! That mother didn’t wash off that binky before putting it back in her kids mouth?! Oh the horror!

I have an advantage over a lot of other parents: I can actually explain why I’m doing what I’m doing. I possess the scientific and medical knowledge to back up my decisions as a parent. That goes a long way toward letting snide comments or stares of horror just slide right off me.

But then there are times when I do things that I know aren’t really great. Like feeding my children chocolate to keep them happy and occupied on an international flight. Or piling them one on top of the other on a luggage cart, wrapped in my big winter coat for some degree of safety, just to keep them briefly contained while I struggled to get my suitcase off the belt. These are times of desperation; sometimes parenting is about survival and doing our best, not being perfect.

That said, I have never given my kids cough medicine nor do I let them drink my diet Coke, no matter how much they whine. They’ve also never had apple juice. There are acts of survival as a parent (chocolate on an airplane!) and then there are conscious decisions that aren’t in a kid’s best interest. Those decisions are what I try to steer you away from. But I’d never fault a parent for doing what needs to be done when the circumstances are extraordinary.

This is why I confess my missteps and mistakes to a public audience; It’s to let you know that no one is perfect and sometimes doing the best you can is really the best you can do, even if some other parent looks at you with disgust and superiority. You just have to know when it’s okay to let things slip and that you’ll get back on track once things have gotten back to normal. (That’s right, I refused them when they demanded chocolate for breakfast. It’s not Grandma’s house, kids!)

Dr. Lara Zibners, Jan 30, 2011

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Don’t know what we’d do without apple juice. We do mix it with water though.

    – Bud (02/01 11:31 AM)

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