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Mean Old Ladies

Good morning. I’m having Halloween candy for breakfast. Oh, it’s not as bad as you think; trick or treating in England brought in a whopping 6 small pieces of hard candy, one mini-chocolate bar and a couple pieces of something I’m not about to eat. How disappointing. Hope all of you did better. Anyway, clearly we are back home and the return flight went as well as it could, with one notable exception being the nasty lizard lady seated next to me. May her wrinkles grow deeper and her teeth more yellow with each passing day. What did she do, you ask?

I got to my seat and was waiting for the flight attendants to install the infant chair (it’s Europe—car seats not allowed) so both kids were on my lap for a moment. Lizard Lady reached her assigned place, right next to me. She took one look at me and my adorable children and stood back up, announcing to the flight manager that, “I’d better be moved or I’m going to shoot myself.” What? Could she have maybe said, in a very nice tone, “Is it possible to move so as to give this nice woman more room for her babies?” But to be so nasty about it? Before my kids had even had a chance to wreck her day?
I hope she felt marginally embarrassed, not just when she heard me laughing and calling her rude names to the flight attendant, but when my children were perfect. Two naps, not one cry. The closest we got to disturbing anyone was just Zoe’s normal chatting volume. I even had time to read a magazine (yes, 6 hours, one whole magazine!). Something I read disturbed me so much I need to share it with you.
Parents were asked what techniques they would use to keep their kids quiet on an airplane. 66% said, “Endless DVD’s.” Okay, I buy that. But 32% admitted to slipping their kid a sedating medication such as Nyquil while only 2% would use “junk food.” Seriously? 32% of you would rather risk an adverse medication reaction than give a kid a donut? Never mind that a significant percentage of toddlers will have the opposite reaction to a “sedating” drug and go completely nuts. But these are medications, not harmless “off-switches!”  I do know some people who use a dose of a children’s antihistamine to great success, particularly if their kid suffers from motion sickness. So I can see that although I can’t recommend it for everyone. But I really draw the line at using any medication not indicated for children. Respiratory depression, alcohol toxicity: are these really preferable to a bucket of gummi worms? That’s ridiculous.
So my girls got endless goldfish crackers and Disney on their flight home and were perfect angels. Now it’s just a matter of getting over our jetlag, which will certainly be hastened by just one more of these dumb pieces of hard candy…

 
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