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The Case of the Missing Binkies

As you know, I’m a big fan of the American Academy of Pediatrics. That said, sometimes I just have to wonder whether the people who write their policy statements are actual humans, let alone parents. Sometimes their rigidity just doesn’t seem practical. Absolutely no TV before age 2? Really? Are you sure that an hour of Sesame Street in the mornings will really ruin them? Truly? Then I guess I’d better be content with never brushing my teeth again. Or going to the toilet. Because that’s what Elmo does for us. And when it comes to pacifiers, the party line is to use them in small infants both for developmental nonnutritive sucking and to decrease the risk of SIDS. But then, just when they’ve figured out how to stick the thing back in their own mouths, I’m supposed to take it away? Honestly? Have any of them ever had a 6 month-old baby? I’m still wondering.

Anyway, this is yet one more piece of advice that I decided to sort of ignore. At least the taking away part. Don’t get me wrong, I have big issues with 3 year-olds walking around the grocery store with a binky hanging out of the corner of his mouth. That’s a habit that hinders both speech development and teeth alignment. But at night? To fall asleep with and have handy in case they wake? I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal.

One problem with my plan, however: Eva will only accept the newborn Soothie style pacifier. The ones that are only available in the US. In fact, they are so unique to the Colonies that when she was a small baby someone came up to us in an airport and asked if she was American. So every time we visit home, we stock up. And yet, despite the fact that these stupid things haven’t been allowed out of the house in over 9 months and only come out of the cribs at bedtime and early mornings, we keep losing them. 6 months ago we had 10. Today we’re down to 2. I’ve searched everywhere but apparently there is a binky blackhole in our home.

Now she’s almost 2. Knowing the AAP policy as I do, and having preached publicly about the dangers of pacifier dependence in little kids, I felt stuck. On one hand, she really should be getting rid of them. On the other, she will never give up her binky so long as Zoe still has hers and that child is just not ready. I felt too embarrassed to confess our sins to my family and request a care package.  So for the last few months I have done daily pacifier counts, crawling around furniture, searching through Lego containers, my blood pressure creeping slowly up with each loss.

But last week at the pediatrician’s, while having Zoe tested for allergies, I just casually asked if he knew where I might be able to buy American style Soothies. Their doctor just looked at me and said, “can’t your family or friends send some?”

“Ah, yeah, but I’m so embarrassed that she’s still using one at her age…”

He cut me off. “So?” he scoffed. “It’s a little comfort at night. Get over it.”

I can’t tell you how reassuring it was to have a fellow pediatrician tell me that a 22 month old using a binky at night is really not terrible parenting. I felt like a massive burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Seriously. You think I’m exaggerating? I’m not.

And the care package is on its way. Thanks to Grandma.

Dr. Lara Zibners, Sep 06, 2011

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I confess:  I am a fellow pediatrician whose 17 mo still has a binky in her crib.  For my older son (now 4) we hijacked his binkies the night before his 15 mo checkup because I didn’t want a lecture from his pediatrician.  He cried for a couple of hours the first night, and then was fine.  So relatively painless.  By my 17 mo old is a twin sharing a room with her brother, so crying for a couple of hours is a bigger deal.  Plus I’m tired and unmotivated and she really *loves* that binky in her crib.  I’m thinking at this point we might have to wait till she’s old enough for the binky fairy.  This post made me smile.  And feel a little less guilty…

    – Sabrina (09/11 02:36 PM)

This post made me smile, too! My one year old likes her binkies, but in no way is she ‘addicted’ to them. Thank you for helping me feel a little less guilty about letting her have it.

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