Dr. Zibners.com

How to know if your child's illness or injury is really an emergency

articles

Top Secret Secret: Exposed!

I know none of you are going to believe this, but I have a little secret I’d like to share with you. Are you ready? Okay, here we go: pediatricians don’t know everything. What!? I know. It’s shocking. Yet true. Yes, we do know a lot, about everything from illnesses to injuries to normal development. And during our training there is a large emphasis placed upon pediatric primary care as we know it in the US: guiding a family through the adventures of parenting and making ourselves a resource not only for concerns about health but also on issues like feeding, sleeping and potty training. In fact, a huge part of our education is focused on the well child and educating families about everything from water safety to shampoo brands.

I know none of you are going to believe this, but I have a little secret I’d like to share with you. Are you ready? Okay, here we go: pediatricians don’t know everything. What!? I know. It’s shocking. Yet true. Yes, we do know a lot, about everything from illnesses to injuries to normal development. And during our training there is a large emphasis placed upon pediatric primary care as we know it in the US: guiding a family through the adventures of parenting and making ourselves a resource not only for concerns about health but also on issues like feeding, sleeping and potty training. In fact, a huge part of our education is focused on the well child and educating families about everything from water safety to shampoo brands.

And here’s where my dirty little confession comes in. For the bits we talk about that aren’t based on science, like which diaper wipes are best or whether green vegetables really need to come before yellow fruits, well, this information has come to us in many ways: our teachers, our own experiences, our reading and yes, even our own mothers. Don’t get me wrong, what we have to say is often tried and true and can be really valuable information for a parent who needs guidance. But not always. Because what works for Eva and Zoe might not work for you. It might. But maybe not.

And that is my point today. Yesterday I got an email from my sister that had me horribly upset. Based on her pediatrician’s advice she had enforced a rule upon her daughter that resulted in hours of screaming. (I sort of assumed she meant Olivia was crying but then again, it could just as easily have been my sister.) This is a rule that I personally don’t agree with and I counsel families differently on this issue. But even bigger than that is that I know my sister and the way we were raised and trying to follow her pediatrician’s advice flew smack into the face of what her instincts told her.

I know I’ve said it before but today I’d like to say it again. You know your kid best. If you think little Bubby is sicker than anyone else, it’s okay to ask for a second opinion. If your pediatrician tells you the best shampoo for little Sally smells like jasmine and it makes you puke, it’s okay to use another brand. Trust yourself and your instincts. And remember that not every method of discipline works for every child and every family.

As pediatricians, we are here to give you suggestions based on both science and experience but also colored by my upbringing, personal beliefs and what my Mom said. Of course you also have to remember that we have the benefit of seeing what works and what doesn’t for many families and many different children so we often can have really solid ideas. But if something we say doesn’t sit well with you, ask! Maybe I’ve got an alternative idea. Heck, I’m full of ideas. Full of them! But if the reason I’m saying something comes down to real science, health and safety, I’ll tell you that too.

My point is that parenting is about finding a balance between the advice you receive and what works for your kid. It’s about trial and error. And a lot about finding your own comfort zone. “Expert” advice is just that, especially for “soft” topics like feeding, potty training and sleep training.

In other words, please, whatever you do, don’t blindly follow my first advice just because I’m Lara Zibners. MD.

Although I am pretty awesome…

Dr. Lara Zibners, Jul 12, 2011

Find more articles like this one:

• Topic:

• Keywords:

Comments

Discuss this article.

What a joy to find such clear thinking. Thanks for potsnig!

    – Rangle (10/09 07:07 PM)

rk7ZIF aaewesogxkyq

    – vtcppvfhmd (10/10 04:30 AM)

Page 1 of 1 pages of comments

Commenting is not available in this section entry.