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Mommmmeeeeeeeee!

 

I love getting letters and try to tailor as many topics as I can to the questions I receive. Here’s a letter I got recently that I wanted to share with you: Dear Dr. Zibners. My 8 ½ month old screams until she turns purple whenever I leave the room, especially if we’ve been together nonstop for several days. It not only hurts her father’s feelings but it makes me feel terrible. I’m a working mother and I’ve got to be able to leave her sometimes. I know that she likes her babysitter because as soon as she hears the door, she gets very happy and can’t wait for a kiss and a cuddle from her buddy. But this screaming for Mommy thing is a problem. Is this normal? By the way, I think you are incredibly funny and very, very pretty. Love you! Signed: Mommy.

OK, fine. So I wrote the letter. But seriously, this sobbing hysterically thing that Eva does is really hard and seems to be getting worse. I actually had to take her with me to the restroom in a restaurant and do my business with the kid strapped to the changing table while stretched forward with one arm wrapped around her leg. Otherwise she was screaming and annoying the other patrons. Separation anxiety is the word for it and it’s a normal, developmental phase that babies between 6 and 12 months usually experience. (It comes back in the toddler days, FYI) It’s a healthy sign that a baby is attached to someone, like a Mommy. While that makes me feel really good, it also is very distressing. I want my kids to know that Mommy leaves but she always comes back. It’s just the leaving that is getting me down.
Everyone reassures me that Eva calms down and is fine within a few moments of my disappearance. And when I return, I can clearly see that she is both unscathed and happy to see me again. But gosh, it’s hard. Some of the advice out there, like practice playing “hide and seek” sounds utterly idiotic to me. Eva clearly knows the difference between Mommy and her stuffed horse and really could give a hoot if Horsie goes under the blanket, so long as Mommy is right there in the room. So I guess we’ll just keep giving kisses and reassurance and hope that the message sinks in soon. Just in time for Zoe to get her turn, I suppose.

 

Dr. Lara Zibners, Jul 13, 2010

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"WHAT I LIKED: This book is written in a funny, down to earth way that doesn't make you feel like an idiot. I really would have appreciated something like this when my kids were really little and I freaked out over everything they put in their mouths. It has a scenario/question and answer format, with clear answers on when not to panic and when to call 911."

- Chic Book Chick

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